© Ayr/Gray
The Unicorn Challenge.
A magical new weekly writing opportunity from him – C. E. Ayr – and me.
The rules are
Maximum of 250 words.
Based on photo prompt.
That’s it.
Click here to read other stories from the prompt: Unicorn Challenge 12/01/24
Points of view
It’s a strange place you find yourself in – and at an in-between time.
The sky is losing its rosy glow, as the sun finally appears.
In the silence that surrounds you, you hear the sounds of life wakening, rustlings and scufflings – the undergrowth is alive with its own heartbeat.
Insects buzz and birds chirp.
Butterflies dance in the light.
A young deer steps delicately out from among the trees and onto the bridge, warms itself in the sun.
Then, somehow warned, it raises its head and listens…
Abruptly and swiftly it flees back into the trees.
Could it be your presence that it catches, alien here?
And yet – and in spite of the beauty of your surroundings – as you wander along the sunlit path, a sense of unease rises in you.
Gradually.
Very gradually.
There’s no other trace of human life here – none at all.
You stumble, look around.
Far off to your right you catch sight of high mesh fencing hidden among the trees.
Razor wire runs along the top.
You realise that you’re not surprised.
You discover you’ve always known – ever since you were aware of the world around you – that this fence was there, bordering the path you’re on.
And finally you’re face to face with the question you’ve always avoided: are you on the outside looking in through the fence?
Or are you on the inside, looking out?
You know the answer.
And it saddens you…
Didn’t see that coming!
You painted a beautiful scene — the butterflies, the deer — and then the fence.
Great writing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Sally.
My ambition is to break out and write a story some day that doesn’t go dark!! 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well Jenne, that got dark quickly, from idyllic sylvan glade to Colditz in one quick ooh ya!
Expertly drawn imagery.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you.
Once I saw the fence in the picture, I couldn’t unsee it.
It is there…isn’t it?
LikeLike
I was right there with you, so vivid was your telling (that moment when a doe lifts her head, suddenly aware). I’ve brought my wire clippers with me. Shall we make a break for it? Maybe the the deer will follow…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just waiting for you to arrive with the clippers, Liz.
And the deer will surely follow.
Let’s go!
LikeLiked by 1 person
“You discover you’ve always known – ever since you were aware of the world around you – that this fence was there, bordering the path you’re on.”
Deep and dark, and so well done!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you D, your comment much appreciated.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Really enjoyed the secret rhythm to your story. Despite being fairly un-tutored in asuntos de poesia, sometimes they hook on the edge of my mind as I read
Insects buzz and birds chirp.
Butterflies dance in the light.
very cool
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, as ever, Clark, for finding the positive and commenting on it.
LikeLike
It’s that feeling of not belonging.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly!
LikeLike
I liked the post so much that I came back and reread it. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, that silenced me!
Thank you very nuch.
LikeLike
Magical to mysterious in the flutter of a doe’s eye lash but smooth as an eagle souring high overhead. From delightful to disturbing, utopian to upsetting, wondrous to worrisome, all without missing a beat. Sublimely written, Jenne. 💫
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Nancy.
Some day I’m going to shock you all, stay with the light and forget the dark.
Some day… 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
As we used to say in the 60’s, just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you. Well crafted, Jenne.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Where? Where? 😉
Thanks, Doug.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You took us to a beautiful place, then left us in despair. So moving.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Keith.
(Though ‘Thank you’ doesn’t seem an appropriate response to having left readers in despair!! 😏)
LikeLike
Sad tale.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was, Dawn.
But I like to think that spotting the wire fence is maybe the start of the way out…?
LikeLiked by 1 person
All seemed normal, in fact the place was very pretty, but then she saw the tall fence and the razor wire… not so good at all.
Excellent, Jenne!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Chris. I like to think when she saw the fence, that was the beginning of the way out! 😏
LikeLiked by 1 person